GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DENVER

"They call me Mr. Fibs!"

Barack Hussein Obama began his speech in Philadelphia with firm conviction as dozens of white women fainted.

Before he was done giving his historic speech, a speech that Abe Lincoln could only dream of giving, the men were unconscious as well.

Barack Obama was born to a Kenyan warlord and a flower-child from the epicenter of the Hippie Era Movement, Wichita Kansas.

Barack spent his early years trying to escape the lynch-mobs of Hawaii before going to Harvard to escape their lynch-mobs.  He later graduated, became a lawyer and then had to escape the lynch-mobs of Geraldine Ferraro.  But all his life's training of escaping lynch-mobs couldn't have prepared him for the lynch-mobs that came after him for his close 20-year relationship with man of God, Jeremiah Wright.

For the first few days after Obama's New Black Panther ties were revealed, he was able to just say unto his flock:  "I was never there when those things were being said."  Revising his story only slightly after the Right-Wing media storm appeared unwilling to believe he wasn't a charter member of the Nation Of Islam, he then said unto his flock: "Just words!"

But when his magical powers to clear storm clouds with the same wave of the hand he has used to make throngs of followers faint before him, he was forced to tell the truth.  Or least, a small part of the truth. 

"Did I blow coke, smoke weed, blame AmeriKKKa for 9/11, blame whitey for putting crack in the ghetto, blame whitey for injecting AIDS into the African-Kansan community while pocketing millions from corrupt deals with my white-ass partner, Tony Rezko?  You bet your ass I did.  But, and I can't make this clear enough, it's all whitey's fault.  I ask that you completely overlook this small error in judgement and focus instead on Geraldine Ferraro.  Just give me the chance and I will continue the legacy of Elijah Muhammad and Jimmy Carter"

Comments

[feelthelove]

Why does his name sound like a hairball?

baaaraaack?

Or a fart?

[mandible claw]

the CIA in an evil plot sold crack in the ghetto to buy weapons for Iranian contras.. or something.. i think?

only Ows the truth!! he heard it from RonPaul before being banned from amazon!!!11!one!

Exy you need to update this thing more often man

[mandible claw]

oops.. meant to say "only Obama knows the truth."

the white man stole half my sentence while i was trying to stop him injecting me with aids

[feelthelove]

Good hell yes. Update the blog!

There is plenty of satire out there...I know you are busy whacking those demons out of sweet Shrillary, but you CAN
update a little more often, can't you?

Please, for the children.

[feelthelove]

Now that Tim Russert is dead, are you feeling inspired to take him on?

[mandible claw]

^^ Since now that Russert is dead he will be voting Democrat there's a good chance Exy will be on his case.

As for the children, not to worry. Obama fortuitously aborted them before they could feel the pain.