The Exorcist

FORMER PRESIDENT WALTER MONDALE CALLS FOR NUCLEAR ANNIHILATION OF NORTH KOREA

Former President Walter Mondale, the first president to have a female Vice President before Bill Clinton did, called for the complete annihilation of North Korea.  Mondale described the dire consequences of ignoring the threat from North Korean president Hervé Villechaize.  "We will have Hyundai's and Kia's turning GM, Ford and Chrysler into the laughing stock of the automotive industry if we don't have President Villechaize beheaded immediately."

Although a "dove" of a Vice President under Cold-War victor, President Jimmy Carter, Mondale has taken on a new get-tough image as he nears his 143rd birthday.

"This is such a legitimate thing for the United States to do," Mondale said. "The nature of the threat is so serious that I think we should knock it out right there if they won't stop."

America's first female Vice President, Geraldine Ferraro, was unavailable for comment.

HILLARY CLINTON BOOED OFF STAGE AT "TAKE BACK AMERICA FROM AMERICANS" RALLY

Old York Demoncrat Senator Hillary Clinton (pictured after being subdued by mental health experts) was booed off the stage of a rally calling for the defeat of America today.  Clinton, who is desperately trying to hold on to the evasive "middle" America vote, was unable to convince the hard left of the Dumbocrat Party that she's the candidate to vote for in the primaries in 2008. 

Although Howard Dean proved that taking the hard left position results in complete and utter failure on a national level, it has failed to resonate with the socialists, hippies, convicts, racists and pedophiles who have taken the DNP hostage. 

John Kerry took the stage shortly after Clinton was transported to Bellevue Mental Hospital and admitted that he was wrong to vote for the war in Iraq and almost as wrong to murder all those babies in Viet Nam while stealing purple hearts from real soldiers and sailors.

MADONNA PLEASURES HERSELF WITH CRUCIFIX ON STAGE

67 year-old pop singer Madonna (pictured) thrilled thousands of Democrat fans by ramming a crucifix, with President George W. Bush's likeness on it, up her well-travelled vagina at a concert in Los Angeles last week.  Throngs of middle-aged chicks who've been dumped by their husbands rushed the stage and fought over the bloody crucifix after Madonna tossed it aside to focus on blowing a trojan horse filled with gay men. 

Gay Soldiers United In Effort To Oust Rumsfeld

Last week, retired Generals Wesley Clark and John Batiste (shown here in a rare photo of their 1969 boot-camp graduation party) joined the growing list of retired, gay Democrats in calling for the ouster of Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld.

Clark recounted: "It was horrific.  I had to fight my perfectly natural instinct to sodomize new recruits but President Nixon would have none of it."

Batiste confirmed Clark's words and also recounted: "It was horrific.  I had to fight my perfectly natural instinct to sodomize new recruits but President Lincoln would have none of it."

School children are being encouraged by their gay, democrat teachers (who make up 69% of public school teachers) to walk out of school for the next few weeks and join the adult pedophiles in calling for Rumsfeld's ouster at publicly-funded protest parties.  In order to demonstrate that left-wing political causes are far more important than grades, children who are barely keeping their grades above straight F's will be first to arrive at the protests and last to leave.

(D) Death Row inmates are expected to join the protests in the next few days.

CongressStripper Cynthia McKinney Assaulted While Giving Strip Tease to Duke LaCrosse Players

Congressnut Cynthia McKinney (pictured) was assaulted by WHITE members of Duke's Lacrosse team while giving a sex show that included a horse.  McKinney wasted no time contacting the authorities after the incident.  When police found her, drunk and passed-out at a convenience store several days later, she recounted the horrific details of the event.

"THEY WAS WHITE! THEY WAS WHITE!" McKinney shouted.  When police asked her who was white, she responded: "THEY WAS WHITE! THEY WAS WHITE!"

McKinney has hired famed racebaiting attorney Johnnie Cockbrain.  Although Cockbrain has been dead for nearly a year, McKinney is expected to sue the families of the players, Duke, the Durham Police Department, and any other whiteys she can get her hands on.

CongressClown Cynthia McKinney - Raped and Murdered in The Halls of Congress

Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney (pictured) was raped, robbed, lynched, murdered, insulted and subjected to following the same rules as her white counterparts last week by a racist, oppressing HONKY disguised as a Capital Police Officer.

Congressbaiter McKinney was making a drug deal on her cell phone when a WHITE BOY dared to ask her for identification.  Not only subjecting her to the exact same rules required of all other congressmen and women, but causing her to drop the phone call that assured her a night's worth of crack cocaine.

Congressbeeyoch McKinney released the following statement today:  "Fuck you white ass muthafuckuzz, Homey don't play that shit. Haven't you white devils ever seen a clown with an orange afro? Where the fuck is my crack-pipe, you cracker muthafuckuzz?"

Dumbocrats, who have spent decades creating the race-baiting culture responsible for Congresspsycho McMuffin's conduct, distanced themselves from her just like they do with any other black person when they're off-duty and the cameras aren't rolling.

California Congresszombie Nancy Peloser stated: "I've never much liked Cynthia because she acts so different than the servants I beat every night after I get home from another ineffective day of passing absolutely no new legislation.  She's stealing the limelight from me and Barbara Boxhead and all the hard work we're doing to end the CULTURE OF CORRUPTION created by Republicans."

Congresskook McKinney is expect to hire Jesse Jackass, Al Sharp2ton and even exhume Johnny Cockring from his grave to get the racebaiting underway.

President Bush sells U.S. Ports to Osama bin Laden

Illegally selected President George Bush sold all U.S. ports to rival Osama bin Laden for 6 barrels of oil, 3 six-packs of Lone Star beer and a gift certificate for 72 virgins in heaven.

House Republicans were outraged and Democrats finally found their Watergate-Hammer that had gone missing since 1974. 

Although the only thing Republicans can really do is delay the inevitable, it does give some a chance to pretend they aren't toe-tag followers of King George (pictured).

(D) Charles Schumer, who has opposed everything Bush has ever done, declared "This is the end of the road for this murderer."

Racial profiling, thought to be Dead-On-Arrival for Democrats, was given a new lease on life.

Newest Supreme Court Justice, Lance Ito, OUTLAWS ABORTION

Democrats committed to the clearly defined principals of infanticide outlined in The Constitution were dealt another humiliating setback with the confirmation of Judge Lance Ito earlier this week.

Judge Ito (pictured holding a baby he just saved from a pregnant Democrat), now referred to as Associate Justice ANTI-ABORTION, left the House of Congress and headed directly for the nearest D.C. dry-cleaning establishment.  Associate Justice ANTI-ABORTION was then seen staggering away with a giant burlap bag slung over his right shoulder filled with rusty clothes-hangers. 

Stumbling from the back alley of a local Starbucks, foaming from the mouth and repeating the phrase: “Pat Robertson is my master, he has God’s home phone number” Ito then headed directly to the Marion Barry Free Clinic looking for pear-shaped chicks.  Slashing his clothes-hangers like Zorro, Ito then tumbled down the stairs of the headquarters of the National Organization of Women, but couldn’t find any heterosexual women capable of becoming pregnant to assault.

Capital Police were left with no choice but to place Justice Ito under arrest when they noticed an American Flag lapel, a clear protest message, on his shiny black robe as he scaled the walls of the House of Congress.

Osama Bin Laden Tosses His Turban Into The Ring For The 2008 Democratic Presidential Race

(D) Osama Bin Laden has announced his candidacy for President of The United States of America.

Speaking on an audio recording aired by the Los Angeles Times TV Network, Al Jazeera, Bin Laden towed the Democrat Party line regarding America’s hopelessly futile war against Al Qaeda, baby-killing insurgents and other factions of the Democrat Party working against American interests.

Bin Laden faces a stiff challenge from fellow baby-killer, Hillary Clinton.  However, it appears that Senator Clinton is likely to get the nod from the clueless cowards who still identify themselves as Democrats because she has a slightly larger constituency and penis.

DEMOCRATS REENACT SLAVERY

Hillary Clinton (pictured) joined other Democrats on Martin Luther King Day to introduce legislation to reenact slavery. 

The 2008 Democrat nominee can see what so many other Democrats can see.  Black Americans want to be free.  Just one problem with Black Americans wanting to be free.  The Democratic Party doesn't want them to be free.  In fact, Democrats expect complete obedience from the blacks who have chosen to remain enslaved on the DNP Plantation.

In a highly predictable move, Democrats are lashing out at black Americans who choose to escape the DNP Plantation.  As more black liberals are having the demonic possession of their souls exorcised, the DNP Plantation Masters have grown more desperate.

New Orleans Mayor, and champion race-baiter, (D) Ray Nagin wants to rebuild the city, that President Bush conspired with God to destroy, with black people only. Or, as he so eloquently put it, remake it a Chocolate City.  Fortunately, New Orleans, like most urban cities, couldn't survive without both black, brown, yellow and white residents, business owners and employees.  In other words, whoever chooses to live there based on the content of their desire to live there, not based on the color of their skin. Mayor Nagin might have known that if he wasn't a moron, but, like most racists, he is a moron.

Hillary Clinton chose not to remind America that (R) Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and paid for it with his life, nor did she remind people that the only former Klan member in the U.S. Senate is former Grand Wizard (D) Robert Byrd.

As more people of color from other countries take advantage of America's free and open policy towards people of all colors, expect to see black Democrats continue to obey their white masters in the Democratic Party.  By doing so, they will be taking a one-way street to prisons as "victims of the man" instead of champions of progress who overcome and achieve.

Only by escaping from the DNP Plantation will black Americans truly be free.  As more black Americans become educated, enlightened and economically-empowered, they will realize that it is the DNP that is their enemy.  And enslavement to their misguided liberal values runs contrary to all that black America is built on and truly made of.